Life Happens...until it no longer does

Why did this week happen?  I am no authority on weather.  I am no authority on religion.  I am no authority on much really, I know a little about business , but I am far from an authority.  With the horrific  tragedies of life loss and destruction this week in my home state of Alabama, I did get a lot of questions.  I know a variety of people - people from all walks of life and beliefs.  So it stands to reason that some of those people talked about prayer and a few talked about "why pray at all".  I think people ask me questions to hear what answers I may give.  They may even ask questions just to get "fired" up by my answers.  I really have no idea why I am asked - but I get asked nonetheless.

My answer  to why this happened was very simple:  "Life happens"  Now that answer does not satisfy most and frankly it used  to not satisfy me.  Nowadays,  I use that answer a great deal.  One of the people I know asked me "Why did your God kill all of those people?"  "Life happens" was my answer.  Another person asked me "We must trust in God's plan.  He will always be there to protect us, don't you think?"  "Life happens ."  was all I could say.  I have found in my close to 50 years, everyone has an opinion, but no one really knows the answers.  I know I do not.

I want to believe that God has a plan.  I just do NOT want to believe this week was part of it.  I do know that weeks like this may push the true believers closer, but I also know that it rarely draws the non -believers closer.  Perhaps it should, but as I said "Life Happens".  As I watched the news accounts of storms and the loss of life, I thought back to the weeks past when the earthquake hit Japan.  I remember reading stories of people in Japan returning safes of money, returning wallets, returning treasures to the rightful owners.    Today, I read where businesses in my home state of Alabama were boarding up the windows to keep out looters.  The local police will be setting up curfews to stop even more looting.  It made me wonder...sure there are many stories of people helping people in Alabama, but there are way too many stories of human indecencies.    When did this happen?

Many people will give me the standard answer of "when God was taken out of the schools"  or "when we started living beyond our means" or "when we allowed abortions".  All of those thoughts raise emotions and feelings , but none of them answer the question.  Japan is not a Christian nation and  the looting did not happen there.  One may say "that is because the U.S. has let their Christian values falter".  Perhaps, but is that the answer?  History shows that the U.S. has always had crime and we actually have less NOW than we did in the 1800's when EVERYONE had guns, so perhaps guns are not the answer either.  So what is the answer to why this week happened?  I don't know why.  I do know what will make us all stronger - stop with the attitudes about which way is better and merely act in accordance with what really matters - PEOPLE.  Ideology and belief are wonderful things.  However, both pale in comparison to action.  The action of helping without reward, helping without being concerned with someone getting something for nothing, helping without applause, helping because helping is what YOU should do - merely because it is the Right thing is the RIGHT way.

I think religious folks are having a hard time this week.  The "God is watching over us" falls on deaf ears to those that suffered this week - perhaps a new line of thinking must come into play.  Sure those that were not hurt or suffered can rejoice and praise - but for those who are no longer on Earth - I wonder what is crossing through their minds?  As for us believers that know "Life Happens", we are moving on. Many, many people inquired about my family and our safety.  Your thoughfulness is greatly appreciated.  Valerie got many more than I did, but I expect that - my answer would be the same either way - "Life happens - until it no longer does".   I know of no man who will lose his faith or place in heaven by helping someone through lending a hand and not just telling a story...prayer is great - but a strong back and some water moves trees.  "Life happens"  or at least it has for ALL of my close to 50 years ....maybe those are just my thoughts and not yours....either way the question remains :"Why did this happen"?  If you have an answer let me know....

Rules are for OTHER People

Rules are for other people.   That is not to say that the rules do not apply to me- but rather I do not need them.  Over the almost 5 decades of my life I have been around places and people with many rules.  For the most part I have lived within them or at least within the spirit of them.  However, I really did not need them.  Employee manuals are full of "do not dos".  I suppose those may seem needed, but mostly those rules get listed more as a protection in court than an aid to the organization.    Seriously, do you need a rule that states you must show up for work to get paid?  Do you need a rule that says you cannot shoot your boss?  Do you need a rule that states you should not steal from your employer?  It seems so clear to me - but in actuality it may not be that clear.

I suppose sometime, someone, somewhere said "my boss is a jerk - I have the right to carry a gun and I think I will shoot him.  Management thinks that might cause morale problems, so a policy is written forbidding  the shooting of the boss.  Do not get me wrong, since I lead a sales team, I am all for NOT shooting the boss, but if I have done such a poor job with people that one of them wants to shoot me then I do not think a rule in a manual will be much help.

Think of all the rules around you that do not make sense.  Before someone says isn't that what the conservatives say? Too many regulations stops work?  No, those are regulations that are intended to protect MOST of us from SOME of us - there is a big difference.  Rules are designed as a threat - kinda like a parent - "You  better stop before I count to THREE!"  Oh No, PLEASE don't count to three!!

The rules I am talking about are the ones that cause the very problem they are designed to fix.  Employee manuals are needed because it is easier to write a manual than train managers.  Dress codes are easier to write for school kids than actually talking with the children & parents about the right kind of dress.  But IS simple and easy - the better solution?  I doubt it.  I remember once in high school that I was given a one day suspension for being 5 minutes late for school.  It did not matter to the administration that I was late because I had been at work PRIOR to school (you could do that in the 1970's).  That particular morning I was cutting up potatoes @ McDonald's so that those veggies could become McFries.  Perhaps the rules were changed at McDonald's and french fries were made from frozen - just so some kid would not get in trouble at school.  Whatever the reason - it did not make sense - miss 5 minutes of school - get sent home for the remaining 7 plus hours.  Gotta enforce the rules or chaos will come about.  Chaos like - kids will be working more and missing homeroom and we all know what that leads to - right?  Actually we have no idea - probably need a rule on that.

I tell my daughters that rules are for other people - not them.  I tell them that - NOT because they can do as they please without regard for others - I tell them that because THEIR internal compass that their mother, our friends, our teachers, our neighbors and I have attempted to instill in them WILL be enough guiding force.  The rule book should be for others - people need to be @ a level above any rules, without reward.  The reward for doing good - is simply DOING GOOD.  The issue is most people MUST live in a consequence world - without those potential punishments many will not live within reasonable lines.  As for me - I don't need the 10 Commandments to guide me - I already know what to do.  I do not need a speed limit sign and the potential for a citation to know that I should not drive 85 on the interstate or 45 in  a residential area.  I do not need a rule that says I cannot scream at my employees.  I do not need a rule that says I cannot beat my wife and kids.  Rules are for other people - not me.  I know how to live - I do not need the threat of Hell to make me want to do something.  If people do need the threat of punishment in order to live a right kind of life - then perhaps they don't need rules - they need ---so very much more - and unfortunately most people cannot or will not govern themselves - so we make more rules.  Those of us that do not need them - just laugh and say - I already knew that.... Those aren't just my thoughts from almost 50 years - those are the thoughts of the learned since the beginning of time.  Maybe that should be a rule....

Question - When did the Conservatives Steal God?

If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner.  The reason for that predicament is that a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet.  Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but  will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.

In many ways, there are lots of people like the buzzard  They are struggling "all about" with all their problems and frustrations, not ever realizing that the answer is right there “above" them.  This is not a biblical reference intentionally – although many of you may see it that way (a few of you will tell me that it should be the ONLY reference).  I will just say God Bless You and let’s move on to my point….

Every day during my adult life I have either answered questions or asked questions. In my younger days I know I questioned everything - probably still do.   Normally, I have tons of empirical data to support any claim I make.  I must admit though, on this one I do not.  So, I am going into some uncommon “waters” here and maybe I will not drown.  I will state however, that I feel that I have often learned more and TAUGHT more by asking questions than giving answers.  What I have found is that more people believe what they themselves say – however obscure, rather than almost anything that I say.  Much like the buzzard, people want to believe that the way they have believed, felt and heard all the days of their lives is the truth.  I am not much of a scientist, but I do understand the Socratic Method and statistical analysis.  So as I go about pondering what I am told, instead of telling - I ask questions so that when the answers come out - I did not say them - the other person does.  People do have a tendency to belief themselves.  Which is why I ask this question:

When did the Conservatives Steal God?

Oh some of you may think you have the answer.  On the Conservative side : Let me guess #1 "When the liberals took prayer out of school"  #2 "when that activist Court set up Roe v Wade   #3 "When the Libs gave up"  All those sound nice and neat.  Are they valid?  Do you really think so?  On the Liberal side  #1 "God never left us"  #2 'We did not want to offend anyone" # 3 "That's funny! A conservative stealing"  All quite cute answers - "don't make any sense" - but they are topical statements.  You guys are suppose to be pointy head brainiacs - those are your best answers? 

What if I asked you these questions:

The Conservatives had to steal God because he did not want to go?  There is not enough God for everyone?  When did God choose sides?  How long have you felt this way?  Do your friends all agree with you?  Do you have any agnostic friends?  Any Muslim friends?  Any Jewish friends?  Do you have any friends at all?  Is God a political statement?  These questions could be tough.  Are you angry now because of the questions or because the questions actually question the statements you were going to make?  If you were on trial, would your statements make a jury of your peers convict you on your convictions?  Would the jury simply be unable to reach a decision?  Would the jury acquit?  Questions do not prove anything - but the truthful answers to them do.  I do not have the answers.  Of course,  if I were Mark Driscoll, I would - for he thinks asking questions shows weakness.  I say are you sure Mark?  Questions may not solve the world's problems - then again - in a world where we tell much more than we ask - you never know.....My thoughts have been questions for almost 50 years now and I wish that I may never grow up.  What do you think?  Careful, your answer says a lot.  Remember, I think I am a fairly smart old buzzard and  I do have 11 feet of space cleared.  My statement is not even a question I know I am going up.

Remember how to live - like you once did....

I remember days of playing baseball (poorly perhaps) as a young boy.  I remember laughing as I fell into a small creek - which was too big to jump across.  I remember when having breakfast for supper was just so darn fun.  I remember wondering why my childhood was so tough.  I remember when the most worries I had was whether she was going to mark YES or NO on the paper I sent her that asked (ok begged) the question:  Do You Love Me?  I remember driving my first car.  I remember my first fight.  I remember my first love.  I remember my first brush with death.   I remember the heartbreak of love lost.  I remember hearing about God and Jesus.  I remember my first paycheck.  I remember my first bank account.  I remember my first tax return.  I remember my first date with my wife.  I remember the first time I held an M-16.  I remember the introduction of Chicken McNuggets and actually cooking the first batch.  I remember leisure suits , silk shirts and simply Stayin' Alive.  I remember college and grad school - and how easy both actually were. I remember my little brother being a pest and how now I do not know anyone who is a better friend.   I remember playing football  in the yard and dreaming about being a star (and knowing I would not be).  I remember being a high school drum major.  I remember the days of consulting billable hour sales and travel.  I remember the day I accepted my current job - one of my better decisions. I remember running track and realizing I had "game".  I remember the day I married (and the 27 years since) a woman who owes me nothing but  honors me with her mere presence.  I remember the birth of my two girls and the indescribable excitement of those 2 days (and the many tired days since - as a parent you understand).  Yes, I remember all of that and a whole lot more.  What I don't remember is when the people I used to know left who they were to become who they are :  Intolerant at times, worried about what others get - instead of what they have, complainers on issues of which they have never even attempted to understand and unwilling to concede that everyone they berate is a human - is some one's child and not a machine.

Perhaps, I live in a time out of touch with the rank and file.  Perhaps, I live in a place where I see people as people - with all the issues of life - but take each as an individual - not as a collective.  I rarely generalize - in fact one of the best parts of my day is during a conservative - liberal debate with a guy @ work.  This guy actually is an owner of my Company, yet I never back down and he would not have it any other way.  What makes it work for us - is the respect we have for each other - it is NEVER personal. While I do believe I am right in my beliefs, I am tolerant of others'  beliefs (however misguided they may be :) )  As I was thinking about what I would write this week - this topic was not it.  I was going to talk about my belief in humanity - and how it has always been there.  I believe in good  works - I believe they will get you to heaven.    For some of you, I just committed blasphemy and your comment will be about how wrong I am.  You will tell me that you will pray for my soul and hope I change. You will find scripture that supports your claim.  I could  find scripture that supports mine- but you are set in your beliefs - so why?.  Is that who we are now?  To those who feel this way - I am sorry - you don't get it and you don't get me.    However, I remember what a wise man once told me - "Never discuss politics, religion, money or sex.  Of course you won't have any fun, friends or enemies, but you will get a lot of solitaire played"  So, I have a little fun (ok a lot of fun) everyday. Every day is an adventure in the world of words for me.  Speaking of that - I hope you enjoy this video I posted below...this will  either excite you or anger you - but in the words of Manford Man's Earth Band  " BUT MAMA, THAT's WHERE THE FUN IS"    So I guess I still remember that song, that mantra, and that's just my life.  SO.... for another week - there goes my thoughts from almost 50 years -  Life and eternity is most likely not fear or respect ---- and love is not just a feeling - both are about doing and remembering good - right here - right now...before it is too late.....

Are you really a liberal or conservative - I say NO!!!

1.        As a liberal, you believe in the right to file a lawsuit when you have your rights violated or health endangered by someone.

Sounds good – get to it.  Yes, you have that right.  But before you file, let me change the scenario:  Someone  files suit against the company you (the liberal) own because one of your employees spills  coffee on that customer.  Should that customer get damages of pain, suffering and punitive?  Lawsuits sound good when the benefit is to you or merely in theory.  Not always so clear when it is directed AT you.

2.        As a conservative, you believe in law and order, support the police, etc.  You hate trial lawyers – for EVERYONE knows they are slime,  right?

Sounds good – get to it.  Yes, you have that right.  But before you continue on your crusade, let me change the scenario:  YOUR daughter has just been arrested for drug possession – 1^st time she has ever been in trouble (as far as you know).  So of course you let her stay in jail, because WE all know that if someone is arrested – that person must be guilty.  So you call your tax attorney to get her out and then to represent her at trial.   Not always so clear when it is directed AT you is it?

3.         As a conservative, you believe in prayer in school.  You feel this Country was founded on Christian beliefs, it says so right there in the Constitution (actually it does NOT - but facts are irrelevant). 

Sounds good - get to it.  Yes, you have the right to feel that way.  But before you continue to preach on, let me change the scenario:  The prayer selected for school is the Jewish prayer.  Now, some of my friends are happy, some wish there were now NO PRAYER in school.  Not always so clear when what you wish for turns out to be a surprise is it?

              

      4.  As a liberal, you believe in freedom of choice on reproductive rights. Yes, under Roe  v. Wade, you have that right. 

           But before you continue on your tirade, let me change the scenario and remind you how  adamant you are when the Pro-Life movement restricts you.  Careful with your rhetoric  my  liberal friend.  Liberals are suppose to be about freedom of choice - not A choice.   Not always so clear when it comes back at you is it?

       5. As a conservative you say give me a gun, heck give me two.  You appear to have that  right.

          But before you can say Charleton Heston, let me change the scenario.  That gun you own was just used by your 11 year old son to shoot your 8 year old daughter and her little 7 year old  friend.  But hey, guns don't kill people right?  I am sure you will say you had the gun locked in a gun cabinet.  So that is the story today.  I thought the story was you kept it by your bed for protection.  Truth gets confusing huh?

      6.  As a liberal, you believe in fairness and helping people.  You rose to the top of your  profession and while you scream liberalism, you normally just rant about how "fat cats" have all the money and should give more.

         Let me change the scenario for you before you go all Ghandi on me:  If I check your giving records will I find  enough evidence to provide support that you are a liberal or are you just one of those do as I say not as I do people?

Throughout my almost 50 years I have found most people are neither all the way conservative nor truly liberal.  People do like labels and a sense of community though - makes them feel like they belong..  As for me - I am a liberal- not a TV News liberal - but a true liberal.  I define my liberalism simply as:  1) You as a human have the right to act the way you wish as long as it does not harm anyone.   2) Governing bodies should intercede, even when the majority thinks perhaps the government should not, so that ALL Americans can have the right to pursue happiness - not just the ones we like because of the color of their skin, their religion, their sex or any other divisive issue.  3)  Human dignity and preservation takes precedence over all thoughts, values and monetary increments.  4) The best of us will be judged one day on how we treated the least of us.

You may not be a liberal because of what you think a liberal is.  I am a liberal because I do believe the 4 items I listed.  Some of you may be a conservative - and that is cool with me.  However way you lean, if you find fault in the 4 items I listed, I can only pray that you do not get into any of the situations I listed at the beginning.  For most of my almost 50 years, I will tell you that when I have broken from those 4 principles, good never emerged.  But what do I know you may say , I am just a poor, dumb,  liberal  - ok maybe I am just 1 out of 3 of those.