Because I Have a Daughter
I know both girls are watching me....waiting for the time "where my actions do not match my rules". I take that very serious.
Today, I read an article by Max Lucado. In that article he talked about decency, specifically about decency in the Presidency. I could not agree more. Often our anger spills out, the venom flows and words cut. I am not saying the anger is not justified. I am not saying each of us does not have a right to express that anger. Since all of us are not extremely wealthy, nor are we all built like we could start at middle linebacker for the 60's Packers, we tend to use personal attack words to cut/rip/insult others. I will admit some get back what they dish out, but ...and there is always a but...I don't, because I have a daughter, two in fact.
So...you won't see any profanity in any post I make. Not because I am a saint....saints do not come from how I grew up...from years in the U.S. Infantry....from years in a testosterone filled consulting firm and from the last 16 years in a warehouse environment where my 5'11'', two donuts shy of 200 pounds, frame looks like a 2nd grader lined up against the varsity. No you won't see any profanity on my page, because I have a daughter, two in fact.
So...you won't see any gossip in any post I make. Not because I do not realize that often there is some truth in every story. I realize there is. I like to be truthful and I like to show off that I can decipher fact from fiction. A good reason I will not is because gossip hurts. I have seen it make a shell of people for no reason other than the gloat of others - an ever popular trait in pre-teen girls. Gossip hurts deeper than my right cross did when I was in my prime. There is a better reason though. No, you won't see any gossip on my page, because I have a daughter, two in fact.
So...you won't see alcohol and drugs in any post I make. Not because I haven't or even because I am opposed to it. I will defer to the religious zealots on one side and the liberty torch "professors" on the other to debate the issue. Sure, I have an opinion. That does not mean I need to blast it. No, you won't see any alcohol/drug opinions/mentions on my page, because I have a daughter, two in fact.
So...you won't see me post/talk about a lot of things that some do. Not because I haven't done many of them---because I am certain I have. Not because I have "turned my life around" (I so despise that phrase) and the fact that you had to turn your life around is not praise worthy. Not because I am looking for accolades. Not because of anything really, but because I have TWO daughters and that is not just a fact....it is a life...mine.
How Life Changes
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Friday, January 1, 2016
Taking Down the2015 Christmas tree.......
EVERY year I write a journal entry about an event I love - taking down the Christmas tree. If you are so inclined, please take a few moments and read it. If you are not so inclined, that is ok too.
Taking Down the Christmas Tree
When it is something you do often enough, people refer to it as a habit or ritual. For me, taking down our Christmas tree, is an honor. My three “girls” are usually visiting with someone or spending their Christmas money -- good thing I suppose, for my language can get…well…..interesting…as I take down the holiday decorations. I enjoy putting UP all of the “stuff”…partly because I love outdoing my neighbors, but taking DOWN the Christmas tree -- is what is really special to me.
Our main tree is eclectic, with a few ornaments dating back some 48 years. As I carefully remove each piece, a memory flashes by – so it takes me a considerable amount of time to finish – but it is time I cherish. You see – life is measured in years – but living is measured in moments…. and I gotta tell ya’ – mine have been pretty good. So if I seem a little sentimental – don’t call the “paddy wagon” for me – I am still just as hardnosed as usual. However, this one time a year simply forces me to appreciate my life.
There is a broken ornament on the tree, purchased at a Christmas time visit to Six Flags Over Georgia when Val and I lived in Atlanta. I was a little too much into being macho then – and I did not wear enough warm gear. It was the coldest time I can ever remember – Val and I still laugh about it ( she reminds our daughters that I am not near as tough as I think I am) . The ornament WAS a circle enclosing Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ. Dorothy has, (over the years), been lost. The circle remains however, and every year, I smile when I place it back in its storage box. That one stays with us – even if I have to duct tape it.
There are a couple of “stolen” ornaments on the tree – ones that once were a fixture on Val’s tree when she was a child. Not real sure her mother knows the ornaments are gone – so if you know my mother-in-law – don’t tell her…. Those two ornaments remind Val of her life as a child. I am extra careful when I place those back in the storage box…they are plastic…but the memory is important – so I treat “them” with care.
There are 2 engraved ornaments that Val gave me – back in the “poor old days”, when ornaments were about all we could afford. I promised her in 1984 – a richer future – poorer would have been tough. I think we have done ok, but the ornaments are a reminder of how thankful I should be for our life and her…sometimes (more than sometimes) I forget. Those ornaments are ones that usually go on the bottom – for those couple of pieces represent the foundations of our life.
Some of the more “interesting” ornaments are the ones our daughters have made. One is from Carlee’s pre-school days, another from MattiLynn’s pre-school days. Wow – how those girls have grown! Perhaps, our girls will want to “steal” their ornament when each one moves on with life. I will still be tough enough to grapple over ‘em– although I may have to use my cane to “fight” them off….for now the ornaments are wrapped with care and placed away until next year.
As I will be "taking down the tree" this week, I saw a few of the ornaments given to Val from some of her Girl Scout “children” of recent years. I know some of the girls gave them out of sheer respect ( a GS honor) for Val being the troop leader for so long. Many though, gave the ornaments as a symbol of loving return for the guidance Val has shown them. Perhaps some of the girls may not even remember giving the ornaments to her – but I know we do. The memories those ornaments bring to me, as well as the times our home welcomed the girls and their joyous laughter, their youthful innocence and even the drama that a roomful of future women bring, is still a time in my life I will cherish each coming year. I may not always get the floor clear quickly – but the happiness is crystal. How long will the celebrations continue, since both of our daughters have begun to worry about “coolness”? I have no idea – but I will always have the ornaments to remind me – just in case we all get a little too caught up with life.
One of my all-time favorites is a picture ornament of Carlee and me, taken at the first concert she ever attended. People told me I overpaid for those Taylor Swift tickets – and if truth be told, I guess I thought I did too. However, when that young singer came down the aisle, walked to a rotating stage only 30 feet from our seats and played the song “Fifteen”, I knew I would have paid much more. Money cannot often buy moments like that. Little did we know how much art mimics life.
There is a picture ornament of Chuck (my brother) and me when we were little. Christmas morning looks a lot different now than it did then – but he is still with us each Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Every year he is so generous to our family – this year perhaps we surprised him with a gift – he got to help get the water out of the basement – while I dug new trench lines in the front. I know a contractor who will feel my pain in 2016.
We have ornaments from our trips to Gatlinburg, from our Disney World trips, a couple from our trips to the beach, even a few from our MANY trips to Wal-Mart. We have old ones, new ones, ones that do not match the décor and a couple of which I have no idea how “they” ended up on our tree. We have ones showing involvement in school, cheerleading, soccer, ice skating, pagents, band and of course, Girl Scouts. Some include pics – but many do not. We decorate with lots of other stuff too –like a collection of stuffed bears – 1 (or more) of which I have given Val each year since 1987. All of this is just stuff to anyone else – but each ornament and decoration “paints” a memorable picture for me, with each movement I make, as I take down our Christmas tree.
Every year I choose a favorite ornament from the current year’s additions – although very few could top 2 year's ago ornament card from MattiLynn's orthopedic doc (got another one this year - THAT NEEDS TO STOP!!! :)...The decision was a difficult one - MattiLynn was so honored to be Gracie's Rising Star for a second year and we put up an ornament in her honor, but this year my favorite ornament was not even a new ornament – it is simply a handshake I had with a young man who on perhaps the scariest day of Carlee’s life, stepped in and solved the imminent danger. While there was no new ornament involved, I did write his name and the date on a purple (for Springville) one and hung it on our den Christmas tree. I hope one day to repay all of those folks (there is a tie in with between the two choices) who helped Carlee that day, but to the young man (and as I told his father as I shook his hand too), he knows he has a secure job working with me (if he wants) when he graduates – guaranteed.
This holiday season was full of activities - from Girl Scout parties to our first ever hosting of a Co-ed Middle School party to several Christmas parade floats to school events to the flooding of our basement on Christmas night - all important. Another year passed without the special blessing of Val’s grandmother being with us for our Christmas celebration – I truly miss the drive to Gadsden’s Southside to pick her up. We did enjoy having Val's Mama, her Aunt and Uncle and Val's brother join us for Christmas lunch - so it was a celebration of family. Through it all, Val stayed strong - mostly because she is - but partly because she senses I am not much for emotion. What Val most likely will never understand - is that she is THE exception to every rule I have. To quote my oldest daughter while talking with her little sister "Get Mama to ask Daddy - he just won't tell her no - he just won't. - Val called her grandmother Mama Zander - who always did the same – remained strong.
As some of you know – I have a questionnaire that I have been compiling for future, little, one-track minded, twerps who will come to my door wanting to see either of my daughters. Up until LAST year, the form was only 109 questions long. Last year I added one more:
“Do you take down your Christmas tree?”
The answer to that question will say a lot about the Dad that little boy will need to be. Perhaps each Dad would be more involved in his child's life today if only he “HAD” to take down the Christmas tree each year.
May your "New Year" be as blessed as mine is now…..
Chip
Taking Down the Christmas Tree
When it is something you do often enough, people refer to it as a habit or ritual. For me, taking down our Christmas tree, is an honor. My three “girls” are usually visiting with someone or spending their Christmas money -- good thing I suppose, for my language can get…well…..interesting…as I take down the holiday decorations. I enjoy putting UP all of the “stuff”…partly because I love outdoing my neighbors, but taking DOWN the Christmas tree -- is what is really special to me.
Our main tree is eclectic, with a few ornaments dating back some 48 years. As I carefully remove each piece, a memory flashes by – so it takes me a considerable amount of time to finish – but it is time I cherish. You see – life is measured in years – but living is measured in moments…. and I gotta tell ya’ – mine have been pretty good. So if I seem a little sentimental – don’t call the “paddy wagon” for me – I am still just as hardnosed as usual. However, this one time a year simply forces me to appreciate my life.
There is a broken ornament on the tree, purchased at a Christmas time visit to Six Flags Over Georgia when Val and I lived in Atlanta. I was a little too much into being macho then – and I did not wear enough warm gear. It was the coldest time I can ever remember – Val and I still laugh about it ( she reminds our daughters that I am not near as tough as I think I am) . The ornament WAS a circle enclosing Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ. Dorothy has, (over the years), been lost. The circle remains however, and every year, I smile when I place it back in its storage box. That one stays with us – even if I have to duct tape it.
There are a couple of “stolen” ornaments on the tree – ones that once were a fixture on Val’s tree when she was a child. Not real sure her mother knows the ornaments are gone – so if you know my mother-in-law – don’t tell her…. Those two ornaments remind Val of her life as a child. I am extra careful when I place those back in the storage box…they are plastic…but the memory is important – so I treat “them” with care.
There are 2 engraved ornaments that Val gave me – back in the “poor old days”, when ornaments were about all we could afford. I promised her in 1984 – a richer future – poorer would have been tough. I think we have done ok, but the ornaments are a reminder of how thankful I should be for our life and her…sometimes (more than sometimes) I forget. Those ornaments are ones that usually go on the bottom – for those couple of pieces represent the foundations of our life.
Some of the more “interesting” ornaments are the ones our daughters have made. One is from Carlee’s pre-school days, another from MattiLynn’s pre-school days. Wow – how those girls have grown! Perhaps, our girls will want to “steal” their ornament when each one moves on with life. I will still be tough enough to grapple over ‘em– although I may have to use my cane to “fight” them off….for now the ornaments are wrapped with care and placed away until next year.
As I will be "taking down the tree" this week, I saw a few of the ornaments given to Val from some of her Girl Scout “children” of recent years. I know some of the girls gave them out of sheer respect ( a GS honor) for Val being the troop leader for so long. Many though, gave the ornaments as a symbol of loving return for the guidance Val has shown them. Perhaps some of the girls may not even remember giving the ornaments to her – but I know we do. The memories those ornaments bring to me, as well as the times our home welcomed the girls and their joyous laughter, their youthful innocence and even the drama that a roomful of future women bring, is still a time in my life I will cherish each coming year. I may not always get the floor clear quickly – but the happiness is crystal. How long will the celebrations continue, since both of our daughters have begun to worry about “coolness”? I have no idea – but I will always have the ornaments to remind me – just in case we all get a little too caught up with life.
One of my all-time favorites is a picture ornament of Carlee and me, taken at the first concert she ever attended. People told me I overpaid for those Taylor Swift tickets – and if truth be told, I guess I thought I did too. However, when that young singer came down the aisle, walked to a rotating stage only 30 feet from our seats and played the song “Fifteen”, I knew I would have paid much more. Money cannot often buy moments like that. Little did we know how much art mimics life.
There is a picture ornament of Chuck (my brother) and me when we were little. Christmas morning looks a lot different now than it did then – but he is still with us each Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Every year he is so generous to our family – this year perhaps we surprised him with a gift – he got to help get the water out of the basement – while I dug new trench lines in the front. I know a contractor who will feel my pain in 2016.
We have ornaments from our trips to Gatlinburg, from our Disney World trips, a couple from our trips to the beach, even a few from our MANY trips to Wal-Mart. We have old ones, new ones, ones that do not match the décor and a couple of which I have no idea how “they” ended up on our tree. We have ones showing involvement in school, cheerleading, soccer, ice skating, pagents, band and of course, Girl Scouts. Some include pics – but many do not. We decorate with lots of other stuff too –like a collection of stuffed bears – 1 (or more) of which I have given Val each year since 1987. All of this is just stuff to anyone else – but each ornament and decoration “paints” a memorable picture for me, with each movement I make, as I take down our Christmas tree.
Every year I choose a favorite ornament from the current year’s additions – although very few could top 2 year's ago ornament card from MattiLynn's orthopedic doc (got another one this year - THAT NEEDS TO STOP!!! :)...The decision was a difficult one - MattiLynn was so honored to be Gracie's Rising Star for a second year and we put up an ornament in her honor, but this year my favorite ornament was not even a new ornament – it is simply a handshake I had with a young man who on perhaps the scariest day of Carlee’s life, stepped in and solved the imminent danger. While there was no new ornament involved, I did write his name and the date on a purple (for Springville) one and hung it on our den Christmas tree. I hope one day to repay all of those folks (there is a tie in with between the two choices) who helped Carlee that day, but to the young man (and as I told his father as I shook his hand too), he knows he has a secure job working with me (if he wants) when he graduates – guaranteed.
This holiday season was full of activities - from Girl Scout parties to our first ever hosting of a Co-ed Middle School party to several Christmas parade floats to school events to the flooding of our basement on Christmas night - all important. Another year passed without the special blessing of Val’s grandmother being with us for our Christmas celebration – I truly miss the drive to Gadsden’s Southside to pick her up. We did enjoy having Val's Mama, her Aunt and Uncle and Val's brother join us for Christmas lunch - so it was a celebration of family. Through it all, Val stayed strong - mostly because she is - but partly because she senses I am not much for emotion. What Val most likely will never understand - is that she is THE exception to every rule I have. To quote my oldest daughter while talking with her little sister "Get Mama to ask Daddy - he just won't tell her no - he just won't. - Val called her grandmother Mama Zander - who always did the same – remained strong.
As some of you know – I have a questionnaire that I have been compiling for future, little, one-track minded, twerps who will come to my door wanting to see either of my daughters. Up until LAST year, the form was only 109 questions long. Last year I added one more:
“Do you take down your Christmas tree?”
The answer to that question will say a lot about the Dad that little boy will need to be. Perhaps each Dad would be more involved in his child's life today if only he “HAD” to take down the Christmas tree each year.
May your "New Year" be as blessed as mine is now…..
Chip
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