Warrior Dad

I think nothing humbles a man more than getting older.  I don't mind moving to 50.  Kinda cool getting discounts - but no one asks anymore - they just assume I am.  As a young boy, I was small - not impressive in size.  By 18, I had grown some - but nothing impressive.  I married @ 23 - she was impressed by my size - but then again she was a size 0.  2 short months later, I joined the U.S. Army.  3 plus years later, when I left the Army, a different kind of guy came back to Alabama.  I knew NO fear, I had NO concerns about anyone.  I was not big, but I was a force and I knew it. 

Confidence like that will get you killed a Drill Sgt once told me.  I did not listen much to that.  Not much you can tell a 26 year old warrior - who a year later added an MBA to his resume.  Another wise man - a Fortune 100 exec - whom I worked for  - would ask me in 1989 "What you can tell a 28 year old MBA?"  Before I could answer - he did and very bluntly said "Not much".  I suppose that was true then and perhaps is still true today. 

When I recently turned 50, within 3 short weeks, I had seen more Dr. and Dentists and such than I had my entire life.  What I learned is that I am in really good shape - for 50.  I am, however,  not 30 anymore though and I have got to understand that.  Oh, I can still move around very well - can still push gravel uphill in a wheelbarrow, I can still bow cut a tree and throw a used dryer off my back deck when it quits working after 7 months.  Frankly, I know it is all for show - for show that I still can (if only to me).  It is hard to be humble about no longer being a warrior - since it took me almost 24 years to become one.  Nowadays, I suppose I just act tough.  There was a country song out a few years ago that went something like "when tough little guys grow up to dads - they become babies again".  My two girls know that - and so does the one I have been married to for over 27 years. 

Yep it is tough getting older and losing just a little of the fear I used to be able to strike when I needed (or wanted) to.  Still, my 7 year old daughter can still boost my ego a little when she says "I don't want to lay on you - you are not soft like Mama."  Which reminds me - I need to get her a new IPAD - just so she will remember to say that. 

Warrior once?  Yep - but now I am just a Dad...Be warned though when little Joey comes to the door - he will think Sun Tzu lives here...unless of course I am taking a nap....even warriors have to rest.

The end of almost 50

When I started my blog my intention was to speak about what I know to be true - and not just true to me.  It was meant to be a reflection of times past, the places in the future and of course right now.  I wrote those through the eyes of someone approaching 50 - someone who had lived through many experiences and who will live through many more.  Nothing has changed since I started this blog - only by the time most of you who read this - I will no longer be approaching 50 - I will be 50. 

I suppose the predictable thing to do would be to attempt to write prophetically - with much admiration toward many and malice to but a few.  I am, as many of you know, not much for the book standard answer.  I have little admiration for many and if truth be told - the ones to whom I might  have malice - most likely impacted me the most and made me, in no lesser part than those I care for, who I am today.   During this past year or so - I wrote many entries - some good - some not so much - some political - some satire - but all heartfelt.  A wise man once told me that writing is a cathartic.  Perhaps - but to whom?  I am particularly proud of two entries:  My Grandfather's Hammer and The Funeral of a Dear Friend.  Both entries speak of who I am - and more importantly who I strive to be.  Time will tell if my writings were true - either way - the intent was sincere.

The four people for whom I care the most are the ones who probably care the least about what I write here.  They know me and I am honored to have my life with them.  They know who they are - but perhaps you do not - so to Chuck, Carlee, MattiLynn and Valerie - thanks for making my life the great place it is. Like a John Grisham book...there is no profound ending - the action occurs living each day not thinking about the past.  Here's to living....may each of you find peace...and a good AARP card so you can get some discounts....or so goes my thoughts from almost (at least for another few hours) 50 years....

12 Reasons I Will Never B "Guvner" of Alabama.....

12.  I don’t care when the A day game is – for either school.  Even though, I attended the Crimson one as a freshman.  I won’t plan my day around the game –although I will admit I watch a few of them on TV – I  just don’t wear a jersey with a number on it when I do – BUT….

11.  I don’t have a number 3 or 8 or 88 on my wall either.  My idea of a fast car is one that tops out @ 70 and can easily turn LEFT.  I would also wear a helmet on a motorcycle...:)  My favorite driver?  Uh…My “Danica Patrick is cute” comment  could get me shot – BUT….

10.  I don’t own a hand gun.   Serves  no real purpose.   However, even @ almost 50, I do ok within 21 feet of anyone with a gun – BUT…

9.    I don’t have a Confederate flag flying in my yard or nailed on my garage wall. I don’t belong to any wanna be militia.  I was a member of the United States of America Army NOT the Confederate Army (if you are reading this YOU did not EITHER)  – “an Infantry soldier I was and I suppose will always be”  – BUT….

8.  I don’t believe I am a hero for serving.  I am no hero for doing what I should.  I will not be honored for dying for my country – making someone else die for theirs?  Well – I can live with that – BUT…

7.  I don’t think the death penalty deters anything.  Many do think it provides for justice in accordance with their beliefs.  I will leave those beliefs to the religious people for judgment (can they do that?) – BUT….

6.  I don’t believe there is only way to get to heaven.  I have my beliefs – and I will always believe in THE Christian God – however, unlike many Christians, I have actually read the Bible – many times.    I have also read the Koran (Quran), Torah scroll (actually the Chumash I suppose), I have studied the teachings of many religions and I made my choice.  Not really incumbent upon me to empirically state what another should do – BUT…..

5.  I don’t think that whatever my belief is should EVER be a part of the governing of my Nation.  You know  - the Nation founded on the belief that Government shall …establish NO religion.. nor shall it prohibit one.   A government needs to understand the will of ALL the people – even the stupid ones….BUT

4.  I don’t believe the stupid ones should run the government.  I define stupid as someone who does not possess the ability to either make a decision or find someone who can make a decision.  I don’t have to like the decision or even be “all in” on it.  Keynes, Freidman, Smith – each were smart – each were different and yet within each economic practice(once someone ACTUALLY reads the writings) one finds many similarities…BUT….

3.  I don’t think everyone being alike is a good thing.  I like diversity (is that still legal?).  I enjoy hearing other views and then of course offering the truth to them….I love conversation, debate, challenging thought. Many people don’t agree with me – they get angry with me – they just can never say I lost my cool – emotion is  for others – BUT…

2.  I don’t like leaving people who either CANNOT or WILL NOT take care of themselves @ the mercy of their own endeavors.  I feel most people are incapable of COMPLETELY caring for themselves and making appropriate life choices.  I know – I know – life lessons learned – costs are enormous, blah, blah.   I wonder what is the “non” empathic cost?   BUT….

1.  The #1 one reason I will never be elected “GUVNER” of the Great State of Alabama is that I am willing to accept those folks who believe in EVERYTHING and ANYTHING I don’t.  Not only can I accept them, I just enjoy being around them – these folks simply make my ordinary life entertaining…and for that I applaud each of you….now – Buy me a beer and let’s talk!  What you think drinking is a sin?  Based on what?  Why?  You think Jesus turned water into grape juice?   Even better - I have had these thoughts for almost 50 years....J

Civility is just gone....

Emotions run high on a myriad of subjects.  I get that.  People are passionate.  I get that too.  What I don't get - and have not got for almost 50 years is why it has to get personal?  I understand how love turns to hate - for both are passionate emotions.  What I don't understand is why?  I understand the patho-pys of neuron changes in the brain chemistry (at least sort of). What I don't understand is why someone who believes in a way in which another may not - assumes the other is an idiot and thus "all of those" folks are worthless.  Really?  Is that the people we have become?  Or is it just the South?  Strike that - I have travelled way too much and I know that type of fervor is everywhere - on both sides of "pertinnear" every subject.  Southerners are often criticized for their enunciation and diction.  However, one does not have to drop the g on a gerund to sound like a quack.

Everyone  has an opinion and should - but the opinion, at some point, needs to come in line with the subject matter - not a mere dismissal of a group in its generalized form. I suppose that is what we have become - a world full of instant messages, tweets, sound bites and gotchas.  A world filled with prejudice, bitterness and diatribes.  It may have always been that way and I am just now seeing it.  Perhaps - but in the last two days on two separate occasions, by two separate people, I have been called worthless for being somewhat left of center politically. 

Worthless?  Really?  One knows that for sure?  Are my feelings hurt?  That would be impossible - neither of my daughters said it - so an emotional pain is impossible for me.  Does it bother me?  Yes.  Not for the reasons one may think.  If I am considered worthless for a political belief, I can only imagine what my friends who  are NOT the CORRECT race, religion, sexual orientation, socio-economic class, marital status or education level must be called.  You see - according to some,  on ALL of those "requirements" I would be the POSTER CHILD for their CORRECT viewpoint (better than CORRECT on many).  I also realize many on the left spew the same venom - just a different spin - so I suppose civility is just gone.  Gone like the wind.  However, unlike Rhett, "Frankly, my dear I DO GIVE A DAMN"".  People matter to me. I will always be ok - I am the poster child for all those "requirements" and by merely "being" can challenge those stereotypes.  So over lunch sometime - (feel free to join me) -  we can discuss all of the world's problems.  At the end of the meal - I will get the check - for you see when it comes to most areas - I have some worth.....Or at least those are some of my thoughts for the past 50 years...PEACE!!!!

Typical family in Alabama....

It is a typical Saturday at our house.  A trip to drop of items for a fund raiser yard sale for our youngest daughter's cheerleading squad.  Perhaps a little work @ the sale - but not me for sure.  By 8, an hour drive to ice skating practice and fitting for new skates.  Later today, we go and pick up our oldest daughter who just spent 4 days and 3 nights at preteen Church camp.  I still gotta trim back some bushes, a few clothes need washing and of course at least one of our pets will need some sort of attention today.  We will go to Church Sunday and this month we will serve as sub teachers for the 1st and 2nd grade girls' Sunday School class.  All pretty typical stuff for a family with active children I suppose.  The truth is our family may not be that typical.

Yesterday on a talk radio show, I took to task the commentator on  the premise of an article that stated over 47% of American households do not pay any Federal Income Tax.  In the thoughts of most Alabama folks who think about such things, that is almost as bad as not having an allegiance to either Alabama or Auburn football.  It is just "not done 'round here".  Fact is though, a great many folks in Alabama do not pay many taxes either.  I do not know the percentage really - most folks just haven't filled out my request for their information and sent it back to me in the self-addressed stamped envelope I provided them.  I would guess though, Alabama is about average - maybe a little more even.  The real issue is why?  My thoughts to this so called "knower of economics" talk show host was "Matt, it is an income issue not a tax issue.  If folks do not pay taxes then the income is too low."  He would not hold me over through the break - but this was my final thoughts off the air:  " Unless of course Matt, you think we should RAISE taxes on those making that little.  I have been listening to your show for a while now - better than the comedy channel most days.  You are now an advocate for higher taxes on almost HALF of the American households? "

Truth is, most likely the 47% is NOT true - regardless of the source.  Do some people not pay - sure.  Do some people  pay a lot - sure.  Are most people happy about taxes - NO.  Should they be happy - Perhaps.  I do not want to go into an accounting lesson, an economics debrief, a stat course or any other academic endeavor.  Mainly because most folks live in a sound bite world and an in-depth understanding of a subject matter is just too time consuming - that is why Twitter is so popular - short and without actual words....

So our family just moves on typically, does the normal stuff most families do and does NOT concern ourselves with how those who pay less or no taxes "go on about their lives.”  So does that make us atypical?  I don't know - but probably.  What makes me atypical is I just wonder why so many people who always post status updates about "counting one's blessings" don't do just that and quit worrying about those who PAY less.  Maybe I am just old now and almost 50 years of thinking has taught me "you just can't fix ignorance no matter how smart people think they are"..or so someone Tweeted me...

American Parents -- no longer like apple pie and that's ok for most - NOT ME

A week goes by again.  Seems they now go by faster than the weeks went by when I was younger.  I know that is not true - but it seems that way.  While @ first glance this was just another week. In my world it was filled with camps and spend the nights for the girls, beginning of cheerleading for the little one and for the big one - merely trying to find time to get her to meet with the dude that will teach her to play guitar.  All of that seems fairly typical of a parent's life - I suppose I am no different - except I am an older parent.  The thought of being a parent ran through my mind all week.

On many occasions this past week I took exception and mostly likely was the exception in two decisions our great Nation's judicial system made.  In the trial of Ms. Anthony,  the Court did what it was suppose to under the law of our land.  In the execution of the Mexican national in Texas, the Court did NOT do what it was suppose to under the law of our land.  My opinions are not popular around these parts.  I have gotten a few terse looks when I say my piece.  Gotten quite a few nasty little e-mails. Even a few - our laws did not work - but God's justice will!!!! Of course, I got the proverbial question of "What if it were one of your daughters, huh, huh?"  I will answer that now - I will give the answer most parents should - but will not.  My answer is simply "I do not know".  Actually, no one knows - unless of course a parent has experienced just those situations. I do know NO court will bring back the child.  Any questions on that?  Punishment is not justice - may make you feel better - but justice?  Should criminals be locked up for our protection?  YES!  But justice?  The child is dead - justice will NEVER happen... I will flip the question "How do you know how you would feel if Ms. Anthony were your daughter or the Mexican national were your son?"  Again - my response would be "I don't know."  You may think you know - perhaps you do --but doubtful.

Since I do not have to be subjective, I can be more objective.  Which I think I am and public opinion is not.  I have been wrong before - at least emotionally, rarely factually.  These cases this week sparked enormous emotional outcry for the despicable acts.   Rightfully so, I suppose.  I concur deeply,  the crimes were heinous and horrific.  I cannot begin to imagine the torment to which the victims went through.  The horrors each endured were beyond what I can comprehend.  I love a good fight - I find it thrilling, stimulating and VERY satisfying.  The young man in Texas would  have a tough time kicking my butt.   As for Ms. Anthony, I would never raise my hand to a woman - for any reason.  I do know a couple of women that might have a shot @ whipping me - so I am sure either of them could break that party girl to pieces.  Thankfully, that is not how our Country works.  Some wish it were - I for one am glad most times it is not. 

We are a land of laws - been that way for many years.  You remember that piece of paper some of my more conservative friends wave around when it is convenient.  It is called the Constitution.  Most have never read it.   My liberal friends wave it too - they say it is a living and breathing document.  Most of them have not read it either.  Either way it is the law.  As are the laws that follow based on the supreme law of our land. These laws @ the very core of our Country are listed and defined as personal protection(s).  In a republic or a democracy - these must be followed or that same entity has fallen to the depths of what many of us consider ill advised forms of government. 

Ms. Anthony was found not guilty.  That does not mean she is innocent.  It does mean under our law - the system provided due process - just as our laws state the system should.  Kind of like the pursuit of happiness in the Declaration of Independence, no guarantee of the outcome - only the guarantee of the chance.  The Mexican national committed a terrible crime, was found guilty and was put to death.  Sounds just.  Unless you consider we signed an international agreement to NOT do just that.  We cannot and should not choose which laws to obey and which ones to not obey - based merely on how we FEEL.  I do not like the new Alabama law on immigration, but when it goes into effect - I will follow it - until we can get it changed - if we can.

I am a different kind of liberal I suppose.  I believe in the laws we make.  I believe in our government.  I believe in individual rights. I do not believe in mob mentality.  I do not believe that the majority should rule at the expense of the minority.  I do believe in my Country - but some of the people in it right now?  I "dunnoknow", seems some of them have lost the thought of what it means to be an American - to be above the passions of the times .  We must, as Americans, let human rights for which we make laws while dispassionate,  rule our sensibilities when our insensitive passions flare.  Maybe I am wrong, but I have had these thoughts for almost 50 years now.  At least I am consistent.  In the end true beliefs usually are.....or so my fellow Christian friends say.

Never preach Christmas @ Easter and other rules

Why is that?  What would it hurt?  Oh yeah, timing - the level of expectation.  The older I get,  the more I realize that often today's youth idea on expectation is really not far from the folks I see and interact with everyday.  People have just come to expect that certain things are done certain ways  and at certain times and that is just the way it is.  ANY , and I mean ANY, variances and well - you know what will happen - Anarchy....

For those that know me - you all know that I laugh hard at that notion.  What is conventional to me - for the most part - is what I don't do or believe.  Ok - in fairness I believe that children should pick up after themselves.  Mine don't - but I still believe they should....Nonetheless, convention is for the folks from The Handmaid's Tale.   If you know the story - then you realize those in power there actually do not believe it either.

I almost never wear jeans to work - but I almost always wear jeans to Church.  I am a firm believer in equal rights for women - so if you are female - that door opens just fine if you push or pull on it.  If you are not one that believes in my religion - you are safe - I will NEVER preach @ you - just watch me if you want - I turned out ok - you may want to follow.  I am a true believer in my political slant - many disagree - but they are not sure why or what they don't like - but they don't - I could not smile more - most have given up discussing it with me - I smile even more....  I suppose I have always been that way - something to which I am VERY proud. 

As I was working on the never ending project of cleaning out my basement -( many of you have the same project I am sure) - I ran across - what I suppose was my FIRST blog - although then it was merely a letter to the editor of my hometown newspaper - The Gadsden Times.  I directed the letter  toward the Superintendent of Education and others  in the academic admin of Etowah County.  The topic was corporal punishment in schools.  They were for it and I was against it - still am.  It was a hot topic in 1979 - still is.  I wrote that letter @ 17 years old - it got published - right there in the paper for God and everyone to see/read.  I was pretty happy!  Now I read it and say - WOW!  Not a dangling participle in the whole letter - nowadays my participle dangles when I am tired - life happens I suppose...

Yep - I have most always gone against convention.  I was asked recently how I can live with myself - with all of my more "leftist" views.  I just smile and say "I have a million or so reasons why - a lot of them in cash"   I see that line of thought  merely  the same as people wanting  Christmas preached only @ Christmas  - never Easter.  In other words - have the dream - just make sure you don't do anything odd or different or Hell will find you.  Maybe.... - but one reason to preach Christmas @ Easter is that Christ was more likely born in late Spring or Summer anyway - so perhaps I am not so unconventional after all. Or so go my thoughts from almost 50 years now....Here's to different! For no one thinks as a child "Man, when I grow up I want to be average and just like everyone else".  Live your dream - wacked or not!  :)